i’m so sad i still don’t have an A.

even more sad that i’m seeing multiple people getting off of the WL at my top choice. i already sent a LOI twice so it’s fully out of my hands but dam. doesn’t feel great seeing a good chunk also interviewed after me either. so many decisions are getting down the wire at this point.

my boss needs to know if I’m leaving to start school at the end of this month so she can find someone else to cover asap. especially since i work so many hours.

my roommates need to know if we are renewing the lease in a couple weeks. otherwise i have no idea what to do.

i need to know if i’m moving and need to get a car. otherwise how am i gonna get around?

genuinely feeling so down and bitter and unfathomably disappointed in myself. knowing i could have made this easier if I had just done better on the stupid MCAT. it’s the worst part of my application but i don’t have the time or money to retake it since i work so much. but i also make just enough to survive so i couldn’t afford it either. i plan to just apply DO as well when I submit my new application by June 10th (hopefully that would be the absolute last time).

i plan to do the one school method so my 2 WL have more time to work out before spending the money i would need to move, and i really hope they do. but at that point, i’m stuck in a lease so i’ve messed up my roommates. and i’m leaving at the last possible second so i’m hurting my manager. i just want one of these schools to want me as soon as possible.

this process is so terrible for the overlapping of it all, and i feel so bad for not being able to give anyone in my life a straight answer as to what is going on EVEN THO ITS LITERALLY BEEN A YEAR