genuinely i have no hope left even tho its barely started

-my primary app was mid, i hate my personal statement and my activity descriptions were kinda repetitive and terrible

-im p sure one of my LOR writers hates me

-couldnt get LORs from 2 of my mmes (not cuz they didnt like me but cus somehow they both went on maternity leave and dont want to write lors this year...)

-didnt prewrite

-picked up a full time job so left even less time for writing, everytime i wrote i was sleep deprived and suffering horrible brain fog

-submitted many schools post 2-3 wks

-mid af stats and considering im from CA and ORM i think im extra screwed because of that

-took my preview kinda late

-had a family emergency halfway through july so i had to travel outside of the country and couldn't write for like a week and a half, which put me even more behind

-my writing is soooo shit <3 i dont think i like a single secondary ive submitted

cant wait to screw up during interviews! if i even get one

i dont even think i deserve to get in at this point ... i also think i probably need therapy lolll genuinely so sorry to my parents for wasting their money

i literally have no faith in myself and i hate every decision i have ever made and im burnt out and this all sucks and im probably every neurotic premed's nightmare and im definitely not getting in anywhere!