This cycle is truly destroying me. I am so grateful to have received 5 interviews, and I was feeling confident that things would work out, and at least one school would accept me. The slow erosion of hope has been so brutal. After telling people I had 5 IIs, people would tell me I would definitely be accepted somewhere. I let it get to my head that it was inevitable. However, slowly but surely, acceptance waves would pass me by, and I would become less and less hopeful. Those 5 interviews turned into 4 waitlists and a rejection.

I tried to feel hopeful at the start of May, thinking that I should see some movement and at least one of four would accept me. However, all 4 schools have started to give people As off the WL and I still hear nothing. I don't know what to do. I don't want to keep living at home doing my CNA job, nor do I have the strength to start rewriting my whole application and applying for jobs.

Nothing has broken me like this. I told myself I would start working on my application for next year soon, but I don't feel that enough has changed. I didn't continue grinding at ECs, just continued my job, since I was expecting an A after 5 IIs. My MCAT expires this year so I have to.

Fuck this whole application cycle