This is gonna sound a little silly, but I had a nightmare that this really great school that I interviewed at rejected me and I woke up sitting in bed believing that my dream was true for maybe 10 minutes.

I’m expecting a response from this school soon and it’s been putting me under a lot of stress (no As yet + my top choice med school) to the point where I can spend hours spiraling just imagining my disappointment if it turns out to be an R.

I woke up this morning fully believing that this school had just rejected me the night before, and I was sitting there in bed staring at the ceiling in grief.

But honestly…it was a better feeling than the stress I’ve been putting myself through just thinking about the possible R. When I woke up this morning, I accepted it. It was a fact that I just had to deal with and overcome.

This uncertainty that I have to deal with now has a lot better of a chance of working out than the R from my dream, so why is this wait causing me so much stress?

I’m glad I got a taste of what that disappointment feels like, even just for those 10 minutes in my bed. The grief sucked, but it’s something I know I can overcome. I don’t think I’ll ever be done stressing, but I think at least for now I won’t be spiraling anymore.

I’m honestly very thankful for this nightmare.