(i hope this doesn't sound weird/arrogant)

I've seen the reject waves from Icahn and Pitt the last few days, and others throughout the cycle, and have really conflicting feelings at making it through them.

Not only does seeing amazing applicants receive Rs make me doubt my own apps, but it makes me feel like I'm in limbo. I really am glad I haven't received these Rs, but it feels like an abstract (and meaningless) consolation prize. Hopefully these schools have seen my apps, since I submitted them all in July, but I know schools sometimes shuffle them -- and I might check my email in 5 minutes to see an R. It's just these weird, irrational frustration because I really don't have any concrete status updates to process.

I've started setting aside money for a reapp, just in case. But I struggled with finding something for this gap year, and finding another job is way more daunting than the app process itself.