[posted earlier but didn't like the title lol]

this is just pure vent, but the barriers that have come with my background have really bitten me in the ass this cycle and I'm pretty down about it. I lost 4 different loved ones, 2 of them blood-related, to gang violence over the course of my undergrad and still was able to maintain a 3.86 and then earn a 519 on the MCAT during my gap year, but the hit that my research took during this time and the semester off I took (transcript full of Ws for that sem) when I needed to step back for my mental health has tanked my app (didn't ask/didn't receive a PI rec). I also made so many mistakes during this cycle that I see now; I've just been supporting myself entirely for so long that I didn't think to ask anyone for advice and guidance. that's my fault entirely and I accept responsibility for that, but I just wish I had even one person in my corner throughout this that could help me out a bit - financially, emotionally, anything. thing is, I can't afford to reapply. I blew my savings on this cycle. I've gotten 2 interviews and I think they went pretty well, but no As, 1 interview hold, and 1 rejection. if I don't get in this cycle, I can't be a doctor, and I think that's a bummer because I think I could've been a good one.