waiting for a post-ii decision after interviewing in october has genuinely felt like a humiliation ritual. i want to start by saying that i’m incredibly grateful to have acceptances from other schools, and i don’t take that lightly at all. i know how fortunate i am, but ucla is my top choice, and the limbo has made it harder than i expected to fully enjoy the A's i already have.

the uncertainty has also put real parts of my life on pause. i live in la and recently started dating someone i really like, and it’s been genuinely so nice. at the same time, not knowing where i’ll be in seven months has made me way more cautious than i would normally be. i don’t know how to explain my hot-and-cold behavior towards them without bursting our bubble. but it’s less about how i feel about them and more about the timing/uncertainty of this process. even basic financial planning feels stalled bc i don’t know if i should be preparing for four years of flights or staying local.

now i find myself every friday religiously refreshing my inbox to no news. im exhausted.

i know the advice is usually to “just wait it out,” and i’m doing my best. i’m sharing this mostly to say that if ur still waiting to hear back, especially post-ii, ur not alone. this process is emotionally exhausting even when things are objectively going well, and i hope it doesn’t discourage anyone from pursuing medicine if this is something u truly care about.

if ur still in limbo, i’m rooting for us and hoping we all hear good news soon 🤍